do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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