I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
