I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
