It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
