she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
