In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
