just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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