He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I am spending my child support on dildos
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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