I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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