we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I've blown a few things in my day
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
