is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
