she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Houston, we have a squirter
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
