porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize