you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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