You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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