apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
