i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
