you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
