Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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