I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
