omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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