I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
