So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
