he puts the penis in happiness.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize