Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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