I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
