I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
