Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
