do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
