I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
