my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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