this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
