yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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