Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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