Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
