she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
