When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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