Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
