weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
