That's when you crack a 10am beer
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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