he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think your dad took our porno
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
