how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
