my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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