I love black thongs
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
