Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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