normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
