Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
