yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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