I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
