so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
