pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You were trust falling into bushes
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
