I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
