I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
