that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
