shes about as inviting as chlamydia
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
