Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
