Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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