Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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