"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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