3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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