We're facebook friends in real life
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
