We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We talked him into tasing himself.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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